1.Viktoria
I looked away
The other day
Growing up slowly
Have you ever heard me
Laugh so easily
It's cos I'm growing up slowly.
Oh, Viktoria
Oh, Viktoria
Oh, Viktoria
Oh, Viktoria
Me and my confidence,
We're now more than friends,
We're growing up slowly.
She lives in me,
She whispers when I sleep,
She says 'you're growing up slowly'
Oh, Viktoria X4
I have let go of my daemons,
They left me when I sang the truth,
No bulges I'm finally even,
I can break all my rules.
When I was ten,
My mother changed my name,
She said 'you're gonna grow into it'
It took quite some time,
But today it feels like mine.
I guess I grew slowly.
Oh, Viktoria X8
I have let go of my daemons,
They left me when I sang the truth
No bulges I'm finally even,
I can break all my rules.
2.Homeless
What is in this wine
the more I drink the more I wander off
into a stranger's eyes
I like the way that they reflect my thoughts
what is in this air
it feels like feathery dust everywhere
and as I breathe it in
I breathe the masculine scent of his skin
and I feel homeless
and I feel homeless
your comfortable caress
has triggered unfamiliar restlessness
you and I are we
I feel I've lost my individuality
you're watching me rebel
believing stories only hearts can tell
but when is it enough
when do I call my feelings on their bluff
and I feel homeless
and I feel homeless
and I remember us now
but I forgot what we felt like
and I remember us now
but I forgot what we felt like
and I remember us now
but I forgot what we felt like
somewhere along the way
and I feel homeless
and I feel homeless
and I remember us now
but I forgot what we felt like
and I remember us now
but I forgot what we felt like
and I remember us now
but I forgot what we felt like
somewhere along the way
you're watching me rebel
believing stories only hearts can tell
but when is it enough
when do I call my feelings on their bluff
3.The Art Of Forgiveness
I would build walls
For miles around me
Around anything that hurt
Any sensitive category
Kept love at an arm's-length
It was natural to me
You did not agree
You said things like unhealthy
And I took on the task
Of changing my pattern
All you did was ask
And the walls all came crashing
At a welcoming speed
I was convinced you'd never hurt me
And I used to cling to the back of your mind
But I must have let go
At the moment in time
When she offered careless physical joy
Both bouncing my heart around
Like a cheap rubber toy
And after countless
Hours
Of crying
Trying to forgive you
Believe you
Grow a spine and leave you
Grieve you
I've come to this conclusion
No one prepares you when choosing to stay
How to dare share a bed again
Keep demons at bay
She took something precious
That was just meant for me
Not for her eyes to see
And I used to cling to the back of your mind
But you must have let go
At the moment in time
When she offered careless physical joy
Both bouncing my heart around
Like a cheap rubber toy
And after countless
Hours
Of crying
Trying to forgive you
Believe you
Grow a spine and leave you
Grieve you
And after countless
Hours
Of crying
Trying to forgive you
Believe you
Grow a spine and leave you
Grieve you
I've come to this conclusion,
After all the years you invested in me
All the love, tears, and possibilities
I realize that if the tables were turned around
You wouldn't leave me now
4.Habits
I am a creature of habit
And I move in circles around you
I will admit there's a pattern
One I created myself
None of my lovers dared leave me
I grew impatient and stale
Didn't look back once I'd left them
Cause I always expected to fail
But this time it's different
The rules don't apply
But I need some distance to step out of line
So grant me this wish and meet me back here in a year
If we still exist, I can let go of my fear
Fear of normalcy
Fear of the solid walls of our future and let go of my past
I must be crazy to want this
Cause you are the girl of my dreams
But I'm prone to ruin the good things
Cautious 'round balance it seems
But with you it's different
The rules don't apply
But I need some distance to step out of line
So grant me this wish and meet me back here in a year
If we still exist, I can let go of my fear
Fear of normalcy
Fear of the solid walls of our future and let go of my past
So grant me this wish and meet me back here in a year
If we still exist, I can let go of my fear
Fear of normalcy
Fear of the solid walls of our future and let go of my past
5.My Heart Still Beats
Nobody said it was gonna be easy
But when I forgive there are no string attached
Was not gonna bring up your flaws in an argument
Not gonna rest on a counter-attack
When you first revealed your betrayal
My first reaction was how dare you rob me of my trust
But not even this would be able to shake
Our foundation cause it was created by us
I can still see you
Front row point of view
We spent our entire relationship fighting each other
Our goals were exactly the same
I put you through hell by demanding apologies
Even though I was the one causing pain
With your little mishap the ball was in my court
To prove I could be the stronger one of us
By taking over the role you so elegantly played
Those years when I needed a rock
I can still see you
Front row point of view
I hurts, but I'm not about to give you up
Though broken my heart still beats it will not stop
Stop.
I hurts, but I'm not about to give you up
Though broken my heart still beats it will not stop
Stop.
I hurts, but I'm not about to give you up
Though broken my heart still beats it will not stop
Stop.
I hurts, but I'm not about to give you up
Though broken my heart still beats it will not stop
Stop.
I hurts, but I'm not about to give you up
Though broken my heart still beats it will not stop
Stop.
6.This Too Shall Pass
'Not again,' I scream
Over-analyzing everything
The circle of us
Won't break it's pattern
Won't cease, cause
I am your stubborn hypocritical lover
Guarded by thorns of my past
You have been wounded, bled out, anger gushing
And none of us thought it would last
The winds of your ego
The waves of my tears
Made the most perfect almighty storm
that we've seen this year
But experience gathered we've learned from our past
So don't worry, darling
Cause this too shall pass
Soul-bruising, I look at you
Accusingly cause I am black and blue
Emotional fist
You are the only man who makes me feel like this
I am your weakness, I am your protector
But who will protect you from me
The damage is obvious, patch me together
Loosen your grip boy, I can't breathe
The winds of your ego
The waves of my tears
Made the most perfect almighty storm
that we've seen this year
But experience gathered we've learned from our past
So don't worry, darling
Cause this too shall pass
The winds of your ego
The waves of my tears
Made the most perfect almighty storm
that we've seen this year
But experience gathered we've learned from our past
So don't worry, darling
Cause this too shall pass
7.Takes One To Know One
You've lived a haunted life
I've tried to imagine how I'd feel
If I was thrown into the public eye
Before my wounds had healed
The way you flashed us with your
Scars and told us about your rules
Like we were students
in your how-to-be-dramatic little school
Now I can understand how
After all that you've been through
You'd lock yourself inside
Waiting for us to come and rescue you
But what I can't fathom is
While imprisoned in yourself
You wouldn't ever take a look around
Just blame everyone else
Pulling the look-at-me-I'm-hurt card
Got you friends that wouldn't dare
Question any little tantrum
No, halfway they would meet you there
Your lover fears your reactions
He's like a puppy on a leash
He doesn't tread outside your boundaries
Without saying please
Now I can understand how
You'd be scared to trust again
Seeing on fame would be a magnet
For the tensions he confronts.
But what I can't fathom is
If your friends lie to keep you calm
You wouldn't ever ask yourself
Who they got that idea from
I could be scared of you
I would cater to your needs
Your dominating ways,
my overwhelming fear of conflict feeds
But I've learned not to get involved
By admitting more about myself
Takes one to know one honey,
trust me take a look inside yourself
8.Money
I'm not scared of consequences
Don't believe in god
I trust this moment
I am helping her, the rest of you are vultures
Where were you when our father passed away
I stayed and helped her pay her bills
She drank her pain away
She's always been so helpless
The cause of aging is undecided
But she must be stored away
Our family's always been divided
Why cooperate today？
Oh you smell money, money
She reeks of money
You're my sister
But you never came around on Christmases
You travelled, kept great distances
Between you and your family
I've been the kind of son
I always wanted for myself
My kids are flawed
Look at my ex-wives
I deserve some compensation
The cause of aging is undecided
But she must be stored away
Our family's always been divided
Why cooperate today？
Oh you smell money, money
She reeks of money
The cause of aging is undecided
But she must be stored away
Our family's always been divided
Why cooperate today？
Oh you smell money, money
She reeks of money
9.It Took Me By Surprise
I would react badly
To the slightest hint of hesitance
He'd bend awkwardly to suit my mood
No word from his defense
I'd cry knowing how my tears
Felt like acid burning through his skin
Pushed every little button
But the right one that would let me in
Now he's afraid of me
Now he's afraid of me
It took me by surprise
The hatred in his eyes
I've pushed this man as far as he could go
But he lacked the words to let me know
He acted out, now I can see it is my fault
I made changes
That went unnoticed
Sang songs for deaf ears
He mistook my silence for punishment
As it had been all these years
I'd cry knowingly how my tears
felt like acid burning through his skin
Now he's afraid of me
he's afraid of me
It took me by surprise
The hatred in his eyes
I've pushed this man as far as he could go
But he lacked the words to let me know
He acted out, now I can took me by surprise
The hatred in his eyes
I've pushed this man as far as he could go
But he lacked the words to let me know
He acted out, now I can see it is my fault
10.Secrets
There's a room inside your gut
Close the door and keep it shut
Let no daylight enter in
And the punishment begin
Who are you now to decide
Whether or not I can
Be exposed to what you hide
Just be a strong and silent man
But every wrong turn that you make
will also be my mistake
Cos we're connected through our hearts
And the devastating part
is that I foolishly defended you to myself
But secrets always have a way of coming out.
I'm beginning now to see
What you must have thought of me
In a body cast of glass
Life-changing information should just pass.
But I don't break that easily
And if you'd dare then you would see
That I've been carrying all the weight
Of the burdens on your plate.
But every wrong turn that you make
will also be my mistake
Cos we're connected through our hearts
And the devastating part
is that I foolishly defended you to myself
But secrets always have a way of coming out.
But every wrong turn that you make
will also be my mistake
Cos we're connected through our hearts
And the devastating part
is that I foolishly defended you to myself
But secrets always have a way of coming out
11.Am I Supposed To Apologize
I wrote a song, a journal
Gave it to the world
Told the story
Of when I was just a girl
I sought understanding
Clarity in truth
By baring all the wounds
Inflicted on my youth
You criticized my choice
To stand up to my past
To give the pain a voice
So that it too could pass
But I felt brave
And filled with pride as I let go
Of bitterness that wouldn't leave or let me grow
but I will spend a lifetime
Trying to understand
Why someone sharing my bloodline
Would not lend me their hand
Am I supposed to apologize
Am I supposed to apologize
Am I supposed to apologize
Am I supposed to apologize
Am I supposed to apologize
I loved her more than myself
But she made me choose
Between her and my father
And so I refused
I fled her house and wrath
Eleven years of age
Followed the crooked path
That led me to a stage
The curtains opened up
My heart followed the lead
The music wouldn't stop
And I could finally breathe
But I will spend a lifetime
Trying to understand
Why someone sharing my bloodline
Would not lend me their hand
Am I supposed to apologize
Am I supposed to apologize
Am I supposed to apologize
Am I supposed to apologize
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